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Dump That Zero and Get a Hero! Overcoming the Temptations of the Single Girl

By: Nina Atwood

Do you know this guy or are you dating him? He’s hot, he’s charming, and he makes your skin tingle. When he touches you or kisses you, you turn into a big hormonal puddle. Anything he wants from you, you give, and usually that involves a hot night in the sheets. There’s just one problem: he has a huge fatal flaw that acts as an enormous block to a happy life together. He may feel like a soul mate, but he’s really your nemesis.

Who is he? He’s the Wounded Guy. You feel an adrenaline rush when you’re with him, but later, upon reflection, you see his love-killing flaw(s) - any one or a combination of the following:

  • He’s divorced and can’t even think about marriage again

  • He drinks too much and/or uses drugs, smokes too much pot, etc.

  • He struggles with career and money

  • He uses porn – strip clubs, internet porn, magazines, hookers

  • He’s unfocused – has no real goals, drifts in life, makes no plans

  • He’s insecure – can’t handle it when you go out with girlfriends, even though you’re loyal and true

  • He’s not divorced yet, though he talks about leaving his wife

  • He’s afraid of commitment – wants his “freedom” and wants you too

  • He’s a player – he’s dated more women than he can count, but wants you to think it will be “different” with you

  • He has a trail of broken relationships behind, with a long list of all the other women’s character flaws; reading between the lines, you see that he doesn’t treat women with dignity and respect or hold them in high regard

The Wounded Guy has baggage – lots of it. Everyone has emotional baggage, but there’s a difference between carry on luggage and steamer trunks! What separates the Wounded Guy from the rest is that he uses his past, his issues, and his challenges as a “free pass” on responsibility in life. His life history is one big “get out of jail free” card that he plays to avoid making a commitment to you or to avoid doing the right thing (i.e., get a job, get off of the substances, get a divorce, etc.).

The Wounded Guy is non-intentional about his life. Instead of embracing his challenges, taking responsibility and carving out a better life, he waffles, avoids, blames, and collapses. Instead of stepping up to the plate and loving you with all of his heart, he draws close to get his needs met, and then backs away when you need something. For you, he’s a zero, not a hero. He ultimately takes away rather than adding to your life.

What attracts you to the Wounded Guy? Why do so many smart women choose men who can’t or won’t love them, commit to them, and create a good life together? The answers – the temptations of the single girl – will set you free from this destructive dating trap. In a nutshell, you’re tempted by the wounded guy and you’re tempted by high risk relationships. You have a tendency to get sexual way too soon, and then rush into relationships without using your brain. You have sacrificed your authentic voice, denied your true desires, and taken the lead instead of taking your cues. All of these temptations, and more, are your downfall. Why? Because you didn’t know that succumbing to the temptations of the single girl would lead you down a path of self-destruction. No one taught us these things, not until now.

It’s never too late to choose a brand new, fulfilling path! You can, by taking stock, defining clearly what you want, including the kind of character you want in a man, and then using a powerful dating process that is guaranteed to produce the results you want.

Temptations of the Single Girl: The Ten Dating Traps You Must Avoid is a short, engaging modern day parable with life-changing lessons for dating and selecting your life partner. It’s the story of Kelly, a charming, pretty everywoman, whose dating foibles make it safe for you to see yourself and change. You’ll cringe at her choices, feel moved by her ah-ha moments, and cheer her triumphs over disastrous love relationships turned positive. Through Kelly’s story, you’ll re-define your path, and soon find yourself with a good guy who will be your loving soul partner – your hero - for life.

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Nina Atwood, M.Ed., LPC, is a licensed therapist with over twenty years experience, the published author of four self-books on relationships, and host of the hit website Singlescoach®. Nina’s blog on Singlescoach® is accessed by thousands of singles daily. Nina is one of the foremost authorities on the intricacies of dating and love relationships. She’s been featured in innumerable national magazines and newspapers, on radio hundreds of times, and on national and regional television. Nina’s newest book, Temptations of the Single Girl: The Ten Dating Traps You Must Avoid (Wheatmark, 2007), was just released to rave reviews.

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